I REMEMBER!

I had a pretty overwhelming day. I tried to wake Guthrie this morning to get ready for school, and he was completely unwakeable. I let it go and decided to keep them home rather than fight, rush, and beg to get things done quickly.

We spent the morning in chaos. Sullivan MUST be teething (although it seems like the same back molar has been trying to come in for weeks.) He's got runny poos, maybe a little fever, and oh man - was he fussy today. Adeline acted like she needed a nap only an hour after she woke up - and Guthrie decided to test limits all day long. (As a side-note: I'm thinking Guthrie is just getting used to our new no-punishment thing. He has been really sweet for the most part, but when he *does* decide to misbehave, it seems very deliberate and calculated. I'm still working on how I should handle this.)

Anyway, the house was already untidy this morning, and as the day wore on it turned into utter chaos. Seriously I was tripping over clean laundry, toys, shoes, cups, books. . .you name it - it was on my floor. By 6:30 tonight, I was physically ill from the disorder. Seriously - nauseated. Sullivan was STILL crying, and my bag of tricks was empty.

I finally had to ask Kyle to take a break from studying and hold the baby just so I could finish the small project I had started. (Clearing the clutter from my bedroom floor and packing our giant suitcase with all the clothes we won't need for the next few weeks - kind of a start to packing for the move, without REALLY packing for the move.)

Things calmed down after that, kind of. I nursed Sully for an hour until he was out cold, then prayed G and A would sleep while I cleaned the kitchen. Just getting the dishes done helped my mood a lot. I picked up a few things from the family room, although I'll admit I just did enough to clear a walking path. The rest can wait until tomorrow.

Feeling rather dejected and down, I picked up my "Remembering Wholeness" book and figured a few chapters would help me re-focus. It was PERFECT - seriously just what I needed.

I am PERFECT! I don't *do* perfect, but I *am* perfect. You might come to my house and see clutter and messy faces, but you'll be able to feel that my heart is in the right place. I am happy, life is easy, and it is familiar. I know how to do what I need to do, and I have all the tools to get it done. My children might seem unruly to you, but they're perfect for me. They think for themselves, they question the world, and they love me unconditionally, just like I love them. They're becoming exactly the people I hoped they would become.

After that little pick me up - I feel ready to sleep knowing that tomorrow I get to keep on keeping on. I even feel excited about tackling that pile of laundry that I've been trying to ignore.

I *am* whole. . . I just keep forgetting. So from now on, I REMEMBER!

1 more affirmation : my hormones affect my reproductive cycle, but they have no bearing on my mood. MWAHAHAHAHA! How that?