I love this quote that I borrowed from Serin (who originally borrowed it from Harold ;) ) This thought came to her as she ponders her future (future-future as she's not pregnant) homebirth, but I thought it was so fitting for my current focus on my family, house, and home.
I know I promised myself I would only read the 2 books - but a third jumped into my rotation and now I'm finding myself unable to put it down. (Why do I feel guilty about this? Do you think the other books really know that they were displaced??)
All I can say is - "WOW!" I mean, who knew??
The basic premise of this book is that the traditional Beahaviorism Theory-based parenting is not only ineffectual, but possibly harmful to our chilren's sense of self (and therefore their behavior.)
So - his idea is to show our children that we love them unconditionally by using reason, respect, and logic to teach them vs. punishment, rewards, and manipulation. I know it sounds pretty "hippy", hoo-haw, dancing in the fields of wildflowers waving my peace-sign - but he provides some pretty convincing evidence and sites psychological study after study - showing you how he came to these conclusions.
So, this is another book I *highly* reccomend, but only if you're completely secure in your parenting style and just get a kick out of ridiculing the out-of-the-box thinkers - OR if you truly wonder if there's a more joyful, respectful way to raise your family. I won't think less of you either way, cross my heart.
I've been putting his ideas to the test in my house. I was telling my friend earlier that I have always had this view of my kids' behavior as being on the brink of total chaos - with my (behavioristic approach) parenting being the only think keeping them on our side of "The Lord of the Flies". Boy, was I wrong. It turns out that my kids *are* good kids, who *do* want to behave (for the most part.) Not only that, but with a complete cessation of yelling, time-outs, and bribes - I haven't noticed a change for the worse in their behavior. Contrarily, we all seem to be getting along better.
The very best reminder I got out of this book is that kids are inherently good, and they are the happiest when they're doing "good" things. AND - they're pretty fun to shower with love.
So there - I put it out there for the world to see. And if you make fun of me, I'll send you to time-out. ;)
4 comments:
I completely agree. It makes a lot of sense, yet the "wrong" parenting comes so much easier because I have seen it more (my parents etc.)
Keep it coming. I love to read more.
Sometimes I am just sick of time outs. It frustrates us both so much. One time when my friend was over William ran out the door, again (cul-de-sac). My friend immediately told her daughter "Oh, he's getting a time out for that." But instead I flung him on the couch and tickled him hard. He laughed and when he calmed down I told him to stay in the house and he said "I'm sowwy" and it was over and done without tears. *sigh* that was a good day. ;)
You crack me up! I think the other books DO know they have displaced and they are shedding big crocodile tears ;)
I'm working on parenting the "'hippy', hoo-haw, dancing in the fields of wildflowers waving my peace-sign" today
Dude, if you turn into a hippy, I won't sheeple you anymore
I've been looking for books on parenting and I'm excited to borrow or buy the books you've suggested. We just started doing the time out thing and I already hate it! Bribes are becoming less and less effective. Thanks for the update on good books.
Post a Comment