-p s a -

I'd like to take a moment to issue the following Public Service Announcements:

O someday when you're a fancy shmancy doctor looking down on the little people, please remember while dictating your notes at the end of each day, that there will be another person on the end of that recording and it is best to refrain from the following actions:
* any form of releasing gas from any orifice of your body
*chewing food of any kind while talking, especially the crunchy or extremely chewy variety

it is also especially helpful if you:
*pick a language, English or Spanish. I do not have Spanglish in my medical spell checking software.
*when your digital recorder is active, it is always best to avoid telling your office staff all about what a "dumb %#$@" mr. hammerstein* is. maybe someday, in a fit of anger over your burping, farting, or chewing in my ear, I will utilize dexonline and share that bit of recorded treasure with the dumb %#$@ himself.

*name changed to protect identity

O when your careless actions cause your apartment to erupt in flames and you are lucky enough to salvage the laptop that was in your hands as you vacated the burning building and the load of clothes that was bundled safely in your dryer, please properly ventilate your mother's laundry room prior to initiating the wash cycle. yes it is always a good idea to wash your clothing after they've survived a fire and you may not think 8 articles of smoke-infused clothing submerged in hot, agitating water could cause enough smell to permeate 4000 square feet. you're wrong. it can. it stinks.

O along those same lines, please remember that only *you* (skylar) can prevent forest fires and apartment fires are pretty cool to avoid too.

O a renter's insurance policy is your best friend.

O when purchasing high-priced electronics offering a substantial mail-in rebate, check the expiration date prior to tossing the forms in the abyss of your purse. always a good idea. always.

O keep cell phones out of the reach of young children. especially young children in close proximity to large bathtubs, especially really expensive cell phones, especially when they're new, and pink. i know, you're thinking this was so obvious it didn't deserve a psa of its own. it did. ask tami.