Happy Birthday - kind of (and the saga of the scissors)

G's birthday is in the summer so they gave him his "special day" on Friday. They sang to him and acted like it was really his birthday. I'm not sure if he understood what the deal was, because when his teacher asked him what he got for his birthday, he proceeded to list off a few presents that he had apparently received. HA!

His little friends kept running to be in the pictures. They all wanted their chance to be frozen in time with the un-birthday boy. Kindergartners are so CUTE!

We are thinking of changing Addie's name to Eddie. This little girl + scissors = super short hair. At first I was fuming mad (sad). I had to cut most of the length off to even out the front that she butchered. As I was cutting she realized how short it was and started b.a.w.l.i.n.g. because "Ainsley is going think my hair looks ugly now!" Yeah, my heart went out to her. I tried to convince her that it was actually a REALLY cute hairstyle and perfect for summer because now "you won't be hot! *forced smile*" I already bought a few dozen headbands and we need to find her a little pair of earrings.

Excuse the bad picture - I took it with the laptop's webcam when she wasn't looking.

When I finally calmed down enough to search for the reason *why* she cut her hair, this was her response:
"Well Mommy, I was playing and put my head like this (chin to chest) and my hair got in my eyes and I hate that and Mommy, I just forgot to have you cut it."

How can I be mad at that??? The girl has an answer for everything! Seriously - everything.

-fresh meat-

L.G. proposed to his cuter-than-a-super-cute-button girlfriend this weekend. we're all beyond excited for Chessa (short for Princessa) to join our family. it has been seven years since the marathon wedding summer of 2001. the family agrees - we're ready for fresh meat :p

congrats, Gab and Chessa.

wedding date? june 20 - yes, this year.

-Snellen like a felon-

i guess my title is only funny if you know what a Snellen chart is :p i thought i'd experiment to see how she looks with glasses. we went to her primary care doc to have her eyes looked at today. i pretty much knew they couldn't tell us anything definitive but i needed the referral - so off we went. doc estimates that she does have some vision impairment so off to the eye specialist we go. i wanted to take her straight to an optometrist but they wouldn't see her because she's only 4. doc thought that was strange. i agree but what do i know? (other than my awesome knowledge of how to use paint to draw some rockin' wire-rim glasses on addie's face)

and since i know you're asking - yes, i do think i'm funny

did you say hysterical?

globus hystericus -

the sensation of a lump in your throat, often associated with difficulty swallowing. i'm going on six days with no relief in sight. i have to be drinking or swallowing constantly or the sensation makes me crazy.

http://www.health24.com/medihelp/diseases.asp?alpha=&contentid=13467

i have actually stressed myself into a physiological manifestation of my psychological state.

i. am. stressed.

this is actually slightly embarrasing to post because its an obvious admission of my craziness

just. weird.

-p s a -

I'd like to take a moment to issue the following Public Service Announcements:

O someday when you're a fancy shmancy doctor looking down on the little people, please remember while dictating your notes at the end of each day, that there will be another person on the end of that recording and it is best to refrain from the following actions:
* any form of releasing gas from any orifice of your body
*chewing food of any kind while talking, especially the crunchy or extremely chewy variety

it is also especially helpful if you:
*pick a language, English or Spanish. I do not have Spanglish in my medical spell checking software.
*when your digital recorder is active, it is always best to avoid telling your office staff all about what a "dumb %#$@" mr. hammerstein* is. maybe someday, in a fit of anger over your burping, farting, or chewing in my ear, I will utilize dexonline and share that bit of recorded treasure with the dumb %#$@ himself.

*name changed to protect identity

O when your careless actions cause your apartment to erupt in flames and you are lucky enough to salvage the laptop that was in your hands as you vacated the burning building and the load of clothes that was bundled safely in your dryer, please properly ventilate your mother's laundry room prior to initiating the wash cycle. yes it is always a good idea to wash your clothing after they've survived a fire and you may not think 8 articles of smoke-infused clothing submerged in hot, agitating water could cause enough smell to permeate 4000 square feet. you're wrong. it can. it stinks.

O along those same lines, please remember that only *you* (skylar) can prevent forest fires and apartment fires are pretty cool to avoid too.

O a renter's insurance policy is your best friend.

O when purchasing high-priced electronics offering a substantial mail-in rebate, check the expiration date prior to tossing the forms in the abyss of your purse. always a good idea. always.

O keep cell phones out of the reach of young children. especially young children in close proximity to large bathtubs, especially really expensive cell phones, especially when they're new, and pink. i know, you're thinking this was so obvious it didn't deserve a psa of its own. it did. ask tami.

- another oldie but goodie -

as i was looking through the aforementioned gmail inbox messages, i also found this -

kyle and i went to visit his mission area (Guatemala North Mission) back in January of 2005. his parents were awesome and came on the 10-day trip with us. we spent a few hours visiting with this family that kyle knew when he was there. the patriarch was lovin' on gary and wouldn't take no for an answer when he poured a shot of whiskey. the whole family (theirs and ours) was doubled over laughing at Gary trying to politely refuse to drink it.

at this same house, the mom was dying over my green, crocheted poncho (don't laugh, ponchos were like, totally huge at that point). she point-blank asked me if she could have mine. ummmm, how could i refuse? i handed it to her and before she put it on, she asked if it was made in the USA. i thought about pointing out that it was actually made in China - but didn't want to burst her bubble.

Awwww, good times.