Birth Story

(This is the slightly edited version, believe it or not.)

From the very beginning of this pregnancy, I anticipated (or wished really hard for) an earlier than 40 weeks delivery date. I wasn't too picky about *how* early our baby would come, just hoped for early. Sullivan was born one day before his due date and I figured baby #4 should follow a similar path. Fast forward to 39 and a half weeks - I hadn't had any real signs of impending labor other than increasingly strong Braxton Hicks contractions. I convinced myself that my worry over labor logistics must be impeding real labor from coming and invited Ashley and my mom to hop on a plane to come encourage labor with me (or keep me sane, either would work). On Sunday March 15th, they arrived in Guadalajara. With them in town and me NOT in labor, I suddenly felt more crazy than before and even slightly guilty for pulling them away from their lives for nothing.

We tried to have fun on Monday and Tuesday. We did all the walking my hips could handle. We ate at a few of our favorite restaurants. I managed to get some pretty decent contractions coming from all of that, but still woke up pregnant on Tuesday and was discouraged, to say the least. We bummed around town on Tuesday and again, I had some good contractions coming. By Tuesday afternoon, we decided that we better hit the VIP movie theatre right then or we would miss our chance. We left the kids home with Kyle and Mom, Ash, and I went to see Last Chance Harvey (I think that is the English title). The theatre was amazing. Big, leather recliners, trays pull-out in front of you to hold your plate of crepes or your sandwich. We ordered a few drinks, a big popcorn and a crepe for each of us. YUM! The movie was cute, but I think all the walking wore me out because I actually dozed off in the middle of it, something I never do at the movies. By the time the movie was over, all of my contractions had come to an end. I hoped that maybe after the kids went to bed they would pick up again.

We sat down on Tuesday night to watch the show I love to hate, Deliver Me on Discovery Health. I was keenly aware that I was having NO contractions whatsoever.

Kyle's snoring woke me up that night around 1:30 or 2:00 a.m. and I moved myself downstairs to the couch. Soon after, I woke up to use the bathroom a few times in a row and realized I was having strong consistent contractions. I didn't want to get too excited so I tried to sleep at first. The ache in my back would wake me up and I would mentally note the time. They were in a definite pattern about 5 minutes apart, but sometimes shorter. By 5:30 a.m., I was sure this was it! When I heard Kyle's alarm go off at 6:30, I told him I was pretty sure I was in labor and we debated on sending the kids or leaving them home. We decided to let them stay home since Joana was coming over anyway. Kyle got ready and left for school with his cell phone in hand in case we needed him to come home. I *really* thought we would be laboring hard by the time he finished classes at 1:00 p.m.

The contractions kept their pattern and occasionally seemed strong enough to command my attention. By 12:30, I was feeling tired and decided to retreat to my room and watch some TV while I bounced on my ball. I'm sure it wasn't the ball's fault, but I wanted to pop it when shortly thereafter the contractions once again seemed to slow and then stop completely. Frustration! I can't remember exactly, but I'm sure at some point in here I cried. A lot. I tried to keep reminding myself that at least I was getting the early work out of the way.

I went to bed on Wednesday night fully expecting to wake up in real labor at some point. Almost as soon as I laid down and drifted off, I started experiencing contractions spaced widely. Sometimes I would consciously read the time and try to do the math, but most of the time the contraction would wake me and I would be too groggy to remember what time it was the last time they woke me. The few that I managed to remember seemed to be spaced around 20 minutes apart. This continued all night. I did manage to get some sleep and woke up feeling slightly refreshed despite this.

At no point on Thursday morning did I have any kind of "this is it!" feeling. The contractions stayed widely spaced and we went about our morning. We sent the kids to school, but Kyle took the day off to be with us. We tried to go to the Tianguis market for the second time since my mom and Ash arrived, but we realized they must have closed it permanently because once again the lot was empty. We took a detour to Costco and bought a few things that we probably didn't really need, including these giant marshmallows that were a big hit with my kids that day and with Ashley's kids when she took them home. We sat at Costco for a while and let Sully eat lunch while we were visiting. During this time (about 1:00 p.m.) we noted that my contractions were 8 to 10 minutes apart. I was starting to feel encouraged that this was real labor and it wouldn't stop, but wasn't letting myself get too excited. During each contraction I tried to close my eyes, relax my pelvic floor, loosen my jaw, and visualize my cervix opening. I figured it couldn't hurt anything and mostly just made me look like a crazy American women praying over her Costco food.

We picked the kids up at 2:00 and then headed home. The kids had a snack and did their homework and then we took them to the park to play. During homework time, I was slightly discouraged to realize my contractions had spaced out a little bit. I decided to walk around the park, telling my mom that I would be happy if I could get them to come closer to 5 minutes apart. While we were walking, they did come more frequently - but seemed to space back to 8 minutes apart when we got home. We fed the kids dinner and killed time until bedtime. I took a moment to relax by myself in the birth pool through a few contractions. At first they came at the same frequency, but then I had a long (15 minutes?) break without any, so I climbed back out.

Kyle laid with Sully in the other bedroom just in case it was baby night. Guthrie and Addie drifted off to sleep while watching Madagascar on a blowup mattress in Kyle's office.

A little after 8:00, we decided to put a movie on for distraction. It took forever to get through the previews and by the time the movie actually got started I was feeling slightly undistractable. I watched a bit of it.

About 9:20, I decided I wanted to set up my birth space. I lit all the candles and burned the incense. It was SO peaceful and amazing. I timed a few contractions to see where we were at. They were coming about six minutes apart. My mom checked on me a little while later and asked if I wanted Kyle. I did. He came up to our room and asked me if I wanted him to put some music on. He started a CD that he had made just for our birth and turned the volume down really low. At one point, the song was something Christmas-y by Il Divo. They were singing "and tonight a child is born." I also really enjoyed the few songs from Wicked that he put on there.

Kyle changed into his swim shorts and sat on the outside of the tub just holding my hand or stroking my arm during contractions. It had to be around 9:45 at this point. We did this for a little while until I had a couple of contractions come three minutes apart. Kyle asked if I thought we should call Joni and Dr. Grefnes. I told him I wanted to time a few more and if they continued to come three minutes apart, we would call. I had two more that were 3 minutes apart, and he left to go call. While he was gone, my mom stayed with me. The very next contraction was spaced more like 4 minutes apart and I asked my mom to go tell Kyle to have them wait a bit before coming. He was already off the phone and she passed on my message. He pretty much made an executive decision that whether I liked it or not, they were coming NOW.

Joni arrived around 10:20 p.m., I believe.

At this point, time gets a little loopy in my memory. It felt like Joni was only there for 5 minutes before the baby was born, but really she was there for about 40 minutes, which means she must have been there for about 25 minutes or so before I started pushing. At first my pushes were just at the tail end of each contraction. It felt good to give in to the pushing urge, even though Joni kept reminding me that if I didn't want to tear, I should let my body do all the pushing. I SOOOO did not want to tear, but I don't think I was entirely convinced it was possible after having a previous episiotomy and tearing with the two subsequent births.

I remember Dr. Grefnes arriving right about the beginning of the pushing stage. I saw him step away at one point with his cell phone and knew he was calling the pediatrician. I knew that the baby would be born before the pediatrician could arrive, but it didn't worry me. I could feel him wiggling and squirming inside of me the whole time - AMAZING.

The contractions changed into full-blown pushing contractions at this point. The urge to push was uncontrollable and I tried so hard to slow it down - only adding the bare minimum force it took to feel a little relief. I had my hand down at my vaginal opening and I could feel what I thought was the head descending and then slipping back with each push. Finally I pushed a little beyond that point and felt a few little pops or clicks further up in my vaginal canal. I thought maybe it was his head coming around the bone finally, but at that exact moment the "head" I thought I was touching burst and I felt the fluid rush past my hand. I never knew the bag of water would feel so firm!

The next contractions brought his head down into my vaginal canal and to crowning. The contraction never seemed to end and I tried so hard to not push and let my body stretch around him. Finally, I realized that the contraction wasn't going to let up and I just had to go with it. I think I even apologized to Joni as she tried to slow my pushing. I pushed hard and his head emerged completely. Once his head was out, it was amazing that I didn't feel pain. I kept my hand down there rubbing his head while I waited for the next contraction. Kyle was sitting behind me as I knelt with my free hand up on the side of the pool. He had a perfect view and felt the baby's head. Right when he touched the head, I felt baby kick up inside me and it kind of freaked me out. I didn't know who had done it, but I knew someone had touched him and asked them to stop. (If I had known it was Kyle, I probably would have encouraged him to keep touching his baby - hopefully he'll forgive me.)

I continued to feel his little head and then put my hand lower and thought I felt a cord around his neck. I said so out loud and Dr. Grefnes reached in to check. As soon as his hands touched the baby, I felt another kicking reaction. Dr. Grefnes assured me he didn't have a cord around his neck and I relaxed. After that, I vocalized my desire that no one touch us (me or baby). On the video you can see Dr. Grefnes raise both hands in the air like, "See, I'm not touching!" LOL.

The baby's head had been out for a while and I still hadn't experienced another contraction. I gave a little test push and that seemed to trigger my uterus to help me out. I had to push hard for his shoulders and felt that slithery feeling as he slipped most of the way out. I felt another little slither as his legs slipped out and then it was done.

Kyle caught our slippery baby and he and Dr. Grefnes brought him out of the water. I had to do a tricky ballet move to lift my leg up over the cord so I could turn around to see him. I was delirious with joy and immediately thought he was the most beautiful thing in the world. It was overwhelming and delicious and miraculous.

My mom or Ashley woke Guthrie and Adeline right then and they came in to see their new brother. They were both in awe and so sweet about it. They stood around the pool and admired and asked questions about it all. Truman was pretty content to just lie next to my breast and didn't really try to latch on much. I did get him to latch a couple of times and he felt like a pro. After what seemed like forever, the cord stopped pulsating and I asked Dr. Grefnes to help me push the placenta out. The after pains had started and I was NOT happy about the interruption in baby time. Kyle held little Truman and I tried to support myself in a squat. I had to actually push really hard - or maybe I wasn't pushing hard and I was just pushing as hard as I wanted to, which was not at all. :p It seemed to take effort though. The cord was SO short. There wasn't enough length for it to have been around his neck.

Dr. Grefnes took the placenta in a bowl to the bathroom and invited Guthrie and Addie to inspect it with him. Ashley got one of my big sheets of paper and they even did a placenta print. I think the kids were hoping they would get a chance to hold the baby, but the placenta process was taking so long that they were both drooping before we got a chance. My mom helped tuck them back into bed and they went right to sleep.

I stood up (with help of course) and stepped onto a drop cloth outside of the pool. Dr. Grefnes did a quick vaginal inspection. He declared me completely intact without a single tear. I didn't believe him, so he had Kyle come and confirm. I could not (and still cannot) believe that I kept my perineum intact.

I scooted up higher in bed and someone covered me in some towels so I could stay warm while the pediatrician did his exam. He checked out all the important stuff, but I'll admit I just wanted to know how much he weighed and how long he was. Baby Truman passed meconium and urinated during the exam and the doctor took forever gently cleaning his little diaper region. It was crazy to watch a physician handle my baby as gently as *I* would. Dr. Franky took every one's bets on weight. I said 8lb 3 oz. I think everyone else's guesses were around 8 and a half pounds. The doctor told us we were all wrong and he guessed 9 pounds. His official weight was 4050 grams (8 lb 15 oz converted). I was shocked - but I should have known from Sullivan that I am a terrible weight guesser. :p

After that, I was selfish and took the baby back. I laid him on my chest and covered him in a towel.

Around 2:00 in the morning, we slipped a little diaper on Truman (no cover) and we all went to bed.

I failed to mention that somewhere in there Sullivan woke up . He came into our room, climbed up near me in the bed and said, "Mommy, dah baby come out of your tummy!" He tried to look at my tummy to see if it looked different. Next was, "He wants to play with my dinosaurs," and off he ran to find toys and a book to share with the baby. It was a tender moment for sure. Unfortunately, when we were all ready for bed, Sullivan was still a little wired. I'm not sure who or how, but eventually he fell asleep too.

The entire thing went better than I could have hoped for. I originally wished for a fast labor as soon as my mom and Ashley arrived, but I wouldn't trade what I got for anything. I was a whiny tour guide, but I enjoyed spending time in Mexico with my mom and sister. I was frustrated with my slow labor, but I wouldn't trade it for a fast, furious painful labor. My husband was AWESOME during the process. He was this calm, rational presence through it all. He was more than willing to climb into the birth pool with me and catch our baby. Even when the waters were murky with blood and other debris, he stayed with me and admired our baby while we waited for the placenta. I just love that he shared this experience with me. I feel so complete.